Christmas!!!! 

We put up the tree tonight. And danced, together for the first time ever!! I was holding Jess and she said “down.” Then took both my hands and started to swing her hips. I melted, and laughed, and smiled and thought this is it!! This is what being a parent, a mother is. It’s these small moments of allowing myself to be in the moment and enjoy it. I’ve not been able to do that for a long time. So glad I’m doing it now. 

The tree is up! We are singing jingle bells. We are loving each other. I am climbing out my black hole and going to really enjoy this holiday. Smile real smiles that reach my eyes and touch my heart. That’s my plan.