it is 5am!!! Jessica has been awake since 1.30am, I only fell asleep at midnight. There is nothing wrong with her- she is not ill. She is hyper!!! Kicking me, bouncing on the bed, giggling, telling me she had a dirty nappy. No cries or need of cuddles or anything. I am exhausted, I am tired, I have racked my patience threshold. I have put her back in cot and she cried for a couple of minutes and is now silent. I’m not going to check in case she is still awake.
When your baby is ill and needs you, it’s amazing what strength and energy you find from places you never knew existed. Why can’t I do that tonight? She might be ill, I just can’t see it.
I snapped at her, i couldnt help it, what did she do? Laughed at me! Thought it was hilarious.
I hate that I have to get up for work soon. I hate that I will never know why she was awake all night. I hate that somewhere someone is sleeping all night and will never grasp these mixed emotions.