Making memories

Back to work tomorrow after 2 weeks holiday and I’m starting to feel anxious and slightly panicky. Not so much about work, although it will be extremely busy next couple of days, I know work will get done. I’m anxious about the holidays- have I done enough? Did I make enough memories? 

I am very aware that for the next few weeks it will be full on busy and work routine means there is little time for jess time. I can’t remember the first week of the holidays so how can I have made enough of the two weeks? I know she won’t remember exact days but I need to do that so I can tell her when she is older. I painted her room, and we had the girls over and she amazes me every day but still….

Am I good enough for her? She deserves the best and I worry that I’m not fulfilling my part of the mummy deal. I guess maybe this is what they mean by mummy guilt? It’s just manifesting itself with me as anxiety and panic!! 

I could spend all day watching her and laughing at her wee face. She does something new every day. Today it was feeding her teddies at the table, yesterday it was recognising a carrot and saying carrot very clearly. We chase each other round the living room, and dance to Taylor Swift. I love those times and wish there was a camera somewhere that could record us together. Catch the delight in her face and the awe and wonder in mine. It’s those moments I want to record. Sometimes I just catch myself pausing and smiling and grab her and hug her, tell her I love her and continue with the chase.  

         

What these holidays have taught me is that it takes at least a week to calm down and find a new routine, I need to budget better for the summer holidays and I also need to plan things, and possibly book things to do because if I don’t the weeks will fly past and I’ll be left stressing out wondering where my time went.  

Getting dressed

Jessica is fascinated with clothes just now. She spent 20 mins last night putting her shorts on, then taking them off, then on again and off. She now has a top out the washing basket and trying to put it on.  

She stil loves shoes and no pair is free if she is around. It’s hilarious!! 🙂 

Chit chat

So on Easter Sunday I had my very first proper conversation with my beloved daughter. I was getting her hair ready for Easter and she was sitting on my lap, watching me in the mirror. 

I was trying to put her hair in bunches and she was getting tetchy so I asked ‘Do you want your hair in bunches?’ She answered with a very clear ‘No’ and shake of the head. I then brushed her hair out and said ‘Do you want me to leave it down?’ And she smiled, said ‘yes’ and nodded her head!! So I brushed it out, no tetchyness, put in some clasps and she was a happy bunny. Perfect for Easter!  

 

Loooonnngggg baby

When did my baby get so long? For weeks now I feel like I’ve been saying she’s having a growth spurt but not really seeing said spurt! Then today she was in the bath all stretched out and I was stunned. She has long legs, she has shot up, her limbs are lengthening. Did I blink and miss it? I’ve swapped all her clothes up to the bigger size now. Can’t deny it anymore. 🙂