1st Mothers Day memories

Well yesterday was my first Mother’s Day with Jessica. She got me a bunch of daffodils and a card (helped a bit by my folks) and a imprint of her hand and foot. (Helped by me) I’ve been feeling loads of love for her the past few days, like every now and then I just crumble when she looks bashful or cute or does something new. I tell her all day that she is loved and I wonder if this every fades? It’s a huge thing, overwhelming at times, motherly love.

What did we do on our Mother’s Day? Well we had a long lie as the clocks got moved forward, so not really a long lie, actually up at usual time, but it was an hour later. πŸ™‚ Jessica was in great fettle and giggled loads all morning. We got ready then went to see my mum and give her a gift. Spent the afternoon in my folks garden, it was lovely weather. Saw my bro and my sis and nieces and had a good time. Got some great photos beside some daffodils.

I got a wee bit emotional when I got home. I wasn’t crying or anything just felt blue I guess. Couldn’t pinpoint why i felt sad. Maybe it’s because days like these remind me what’s not in Jessica’s life. Not him but just having another someone, there for both of us. I feel it is a lot on my folks shoulders. I know they are strong but still. Anyway good thing was the mood passed and we had a lovely time getting ready for bed.

It’s his birthday tomorrow. I still wonder what he thinks of the way things have gone and also how he can sleep at night and function in the day not knowing anything about her. I can’t wait till all these little and big anniversaries and first timers have rolled round once so i can feel all the emotions I have then know how to handle the event second time round. πŸ™‚ I’m getting tired of having to fight through all the emotions of everything, it’s a battle sometimes not to let it all overpower me. If my brain had an off switch I’d flick it.

a wee list of what Jess is up to now:

β€’ she has mastered the art of looking bashful, and tries it on with me, all the time.
β€’ she squeakles sometimes- a mix of a squeal and a squeak.
β€’ she is teething, has wee red cheeks a lot and is constantly gnawing on everything. Teething powders are a lifesaver
β€’ I love her attitude, when I lift her in the morning she has look in her eye that says right, what we gonna learn today.
β€’ I love picking her up when dressed in the morning, her hand rests on my shoulders and we are ready for the day
β€’ eating like a champ. Veg and fruit all good.
β€’ almost turning over, enjoying being on tummy more
β€’ when she is finished her last bottle at night, she turns towards me, looks at me with a half open eye then smiles and cuddles in to sleep. It is super cute. It is her saying I’m done, it’s night time, I’m sleeping. πŸ™‚

Love this little hubba bubba.

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